11 December 2010

My roller coster has the biggest ups and downs

I hate that I'm sat wasting time. I hate it when he doesn't text back. I swear I'm not loosing and gaining. I hate how slow this computer is. I hate that I'm not seeing my cousin on Christmas day. I'm looking forward to next year way too much. I hate how selfish I am. The more I grow up the uglier I get. I hate how depressed I sound right now. I hate college. I love my classes apart from sociology but the people make up for it. I love how close I am to my friends again. I'm worried people are getting bored of me. I hate how unfit I am. I wish I had a bit more money. I hate my job. I hate this town. I hate the government. I hate winter. I hate how lazy I am. I love that my mum makes an effort. I hate that I'm only first on my mums list, and if I had a brother/sister I'm sure they would be first. I hate this song. I hate my hair. I'm sick of my bedroom. I will love the day that I move out. I love that I have nearly nine months till I'm 18. I hate how I'm not aloud a dog yet she gets as many animals as she wants. I hate that I forgot to buy Elle magazine for two months. I hate how much Spanish I've forgot. I hate the childhood I had. I hate that my therapist is focussing only on why I'm so full of anger. I love that my therapist cares when everyone else doesn't, they're just nosey. I love wrapping presents at Christmas time. I love that I only have for more days of college till the holidays. I hate the rise in university fees. I hate that I haven't decided what calendar I want for next year. I love that I will be photographing a summer wedding. I love thinking up ideas for others. I hate that I didn't go see Boys Like Girls last month. I hate that I haven't been to a gig in ages. I love that I'm going to Barcelona with my best friend. I love the fact I live in England. I hate how hard it is to work in fashion but It's the only thing I'm interested and would be OK at. I hate that I can't trust anyone yet I get close to people I click with way too fast. I hate that he doesn't live here anymore.

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